How on earth am I supposed to be productive??
Today is Friday.
On Monday I leave for NH. And get to spend time with my super-awesome family:
Jan 2011
Next Friday it’s Bachlorette madness with these amazing ladies:
Spring 2008 (last time we were all in the same room together. maddness)
And THEN. NEXT MONDAY
This guys comes. And I kind of love him. And miss him like crazy right now:
Winter 2012
We try to be sophisicated and take nice pictures. Then we look all awkwardly wonderful.
I can’t believe it’s only been a week since I’ve seen him, I already miss like crazy.
(and ps- i went with green & black!)
Not one part of my tubby body wants to be here today (see? This is my excited face). But my tubby body knows I need to be here.
Gah
A little inspiration for myself right here, 03/04/11.
That girl pretty damn sexy, if I do say so myself.
That shirt’s a “little” … snugger? right now…
Going, going, going, going, getting back there…..
So I’m making my dinner tonight, and cooking quinoa for the first time not in a steamed bag and I went to input the Points into WW since I’m currently awesome at being accountable and I see this:
Pet Peeve. So yes, the above calculates to be 4 points a serving which my WW Scanner so nicely told me (have you tried this yet? best addition to weight watchers, if you have a smart phone, download it, seriously. this may get its own post later). But how much do I get for my 4 Points? I already followed the directions and mixed the whole bag with 1.5 cups of water and boiled it until all the water was absorbed. So a 1/4c is no longer a serving, but what is??
First Solution: Put it all into tupperware that I know the size of (2 cups) and see how much it fills up. Almost all the way. So full container is 1.75c, divided by 3… makes a serving… inaccurate, not a fan
Second Solution: Tare out the tupperware and then get the weight of the cooked total and divide by 3 to get what is worth 4 Points. Went with this, it was about 300g so 1 serving is 100g, and I put my whole plate on the scale and served myself 50g. 2 Points?
But wait, there’s more.
Third, Final Solution: Just use weight watchers database, I’ve confused myself by this point:
Okay done. I haven’t even hit my daily target yet, so even if it is 2, I’m safe.
Moving on…
This was my delicious dinner: Italian Flounder (super easy & quickly a new favorite recipe), 50g of quinoa, & steamed broccoli
Seriously earned this. After Zumba tonight I came home, showered, turned on the oven & stove top and proceeded to cook. Except I felt wrong. Off, funny, just not right, and couldn’t figure it out. This happened once in November and I put the whole plate of food I just made in the fridge and went to bed. I was prepared to do the same thing tonight, I just had to wait for everything to finish. Then I turned everything off, opened the slider, and laid in the dark waiting for it to pass. It’s a super weird feeling, that’s hard to describe, but it’s scary… Last time I think there was a huge exhaustion element to it, but I was missing it this time. I wasn’t tired and couldn’t sleep, so I just laid there and about 30 min later, came around and felt normal again.
Weird.
So I put the fish back in the oven to finish and finally ate.
Finished off with some yogurt for dessert!
I also saw a graph of my weight this year, and it’s an eye opener, be ready for it…
Lean Cuisine :: Garlic Chicken
Mixed with 1 cup of frozen asparagus cuts
And… Water!
I’m a fan of the “market collection” meals I’ve had so far
It’s early.
Let’s do this.
Asking for popular opinions! Just had an eye doctor appointment and started looking for new glasses (I guess the safety pin holding an arm in place isn’t exactly in style?)
SO! Time for change…
What do you guys think?? I know 2 & 3 are pretty similar, 3 is a narrower/smaller frame.
So - Opinions?? Ready- Go!?
I feel stuck… In my head.
I don’t know what I’m doing most days.
Some days I’m great. I feel great. I’m on track and I feel good.
Other days, I feel terrible, I hate how I dug myself back and I can’t bring myself back out.
Some days I’m convinced I’m as big as I was and I always will be.
But almost every day I’m not seeing anything different on the scale/feel of clothes, I’ve stayed in these terrible above 190 lbs that I have been since I moved to Houston.
And everyday I know I have nothing to wear. My closet is full of 170 clothing and I’ll be damned if I rebuy all the clothes I got rid of. So I’m stuck.
Then like yesterday I was flipping through pictures.
I saw the top one, I’m not her. I know I’m not. I know she’s not happy. I know that dress actually took her, her mother, and a stranger in the bathroom to finish zipping that dress before sitting down at the cruise dinner table. I know she cried minutes before that dinner. I know she’s miserable.
Then the bottom one. She’s happy. She can do anything. She’s figuring out how to live life, fumbling through dates, but she’s running around and feels good.
Then somewhere between then & now, for a variety of perfect storm reasons we get to the middle. Where I can’t even figure out anything. Half my photos look like the left and half look like the right. I know in the right I shouldn’t be wearing that dress. One photo told me that. I bought it in the spring and it needs to stay in my closet till then. Like half my closet.
But I’m having so many problems. So much motivation issues. I’m getting stuck in my head of the perpetual “you suck” and “you can’t do this” which gets infiltrated with actions of “sure eat those wings instead of the sandwich you brought for lunch” “sure, cookies are okay, you can’t do this anyway”.
I feel food & emotions controlling me in a way I’m unfamiliar with as I haven’t felt it in a long long time.
At least when I was gaining my weight back, most of it was because I was having too much fun to notice.
There isn’t really a good point to this. I’m rambling, thinking, not thinking.
I’m confused and I don’t know what to do next.
Reason #58282748292 Why I’m So Happy I’m Not Super Obese Anymore:
I was in San Fran with one of my best friends yesterday an we were walking around the wharf and figuring out what to do next. it was 4 miles to Golden Gate Park, and already 4p, a little too late in the day to stroll over, so we started heading back to the truck to drive that way.
We passed a bike rental place and both got excited and plans all changed. I think it was about 10 miles in all, but the way there and over the bridge was crazy windy. I think the way back was in half the time without all the headwinds.
It was amazing biking across the bridge and stopping in the middle and admiring and hanging out om the beach.
Fat Sarah would have gauffed at that idea, and it always comes back to me when I do stuff like that, I sure am glad I’m not fat Sarah anymore …
This is me.
Yesterday. June 12th.
Due to some family things, someone covered my building yesterday and I took the day off. Original plans from earlier in the week were foiled by extended hours at work, but this turn of events made it possible again. I spoke with my friend and got out to the mountains that night.
The best surprise was when we talked. She said of course, come here, and oh by the way, we’re going snowboarding tomorrow, bring your stuff.
It was exactly what I needed. Saturday night was poker with friends and drinks (I actually did pretty well until I went all in on a bluff so I could go to bed…) then we stumbled out of bed to go snowboarding and have BBQ and beers on the mountain. One of the girls (not snowboarding) had packed mimosas, so had some of that after we got down the mountain.
Gorgeous weather, perfect distraction.
Met up with a new friend for drinks after that. Probably should have done without those (and an amazing BLAT (blt with avocado!)) but it really was just a good sort of day.
And did I mention I went snowboarding in June?
So I get confused when people change their avatar and I can’t figure out who it was or who they were before. So I have a before/after. I may chose a different shot from this little photo shoot I had while I was waiting for CDs to burn so we could drive to Palm Springs… but there are a few gems in there. And it was time for a new photo!
Had the day off - like for real - and it was amazing. I only checked emails like twice.
But it started with this:
A beautiful 6 mile hike I got started on late, so I was out in the hot hot sun for the 2nd half with no shade. I was a great time with me, myself, & I:
(rockin’ the glasses - right before I went to leave, contact literally just fell out of eye and it took me forever to find it, etc, so I went without)
THEN.
Day off is not over.
I went over to my friend’s house and we made this:
And picture does not do it justice. The shrimp was perfectly cooked and somehow on the same skewer, the steak was just amazing. Made a marinade of teriyaki, honey, & spices and it was wonderful. Seriously, with each bite we were amazed with ourselves.
Didn’t get to the corn, but also made zucchini, squash, & asparagus on the grill. Oh, and did I mention these are the leftovers?
